OK, so I wasn't going to write tonight cause I was tired, but here I am. I tweeted (is that correct?) my experiment of my experiences with the VA. I would like to think that this would be boring and a short post, however, I suspect that this little adventurer is going to be an interesting one. So, I got a call back this afternoon. Cool. oh, but wait. How many of you out there, took a call from the VA, and just when you were feeling like you got through the mundane questions to verify who you are and that you were actually about to get something accomplished, you hear...
" Be fore we go any further, do you feel like you are a threat to yourself or someone else?"
What?
Would I call you if I were going to OFF myself or someone else? Who does that? Does anyone actually call the VA and report that they are about to commit a capital crime and or suicide? How did this get in the routine of asking personal questions about PTSD or the like? Or, maybe because I have PTSD and that it is a "Mental Health" issue, that it goes hand in hand? If I have PTSD, and it is a Mental Health issue, does that mean I am a threat to myself and or others? Is that assumed?
Alright, alright. Not that big of a deal. I know, but I "feel" like a patient when they do that. I "feel" mentally deficient when asked that. Normal people don't get asked that. They should ask that every time you by a car. More people die in cars than anything else. I can buy a car that weighs 2 tons, and does 200 miles per hour, and I can tell you right now, NO ONE, will ask me if I'm a "threat to myself and or others"! I was in a war zone, nicknamed The Murder Capitol of the World, for over a year, with hundreds of ways to die, let alone pulling the Godd damned trigger myself, hell if I didn't do it then ... well, I guess I was a threat to others back then. I slept in a room full of 'Threats' and that's what made me feel safe. Nothing like having a 'Whack job' machine gunner sleeping one bunk over when the shit hit the fan out in the city. Slept better knowing he was there. This 'Nut Ball' slept with a loaded 9mm under his pillow.
"Hell no I'm not going to wake him up for duty! You do it, smart ass. I sleep in the same room with him, his pillow is loaded!"
My Lt. was never amused by things like this, nor did he ever wake up my friend.
As far as I know he only ever fired it once in his sleep. I was on a mission, and apparently would have lost a toe had I not been. No worries. Like I said, killing and dieing were in abundance where I was,
"No, Mr. VA rep, I'm not a threat to my self or others today, I would just like an appointment to get normal again, so stop asking that freaking question please."
After that, I think I got through the rest of the call. Looks like Ill be set up for a round of appointments. I know you are all waiting with bated breath to find out how this all turns out. Trust me, so am I.
Now the question is, Does the VA assume that I do not have a real life job and will they set the appointments smack in the middle of the day? every other day for the 4 or 5 appointments that they will want me to go to? Also, will I be asked to join a 'group' and will this appointment setter just sign me up for 'group' therapy? You know, to just 'chat' about my experiences, with other vets, in a safe, warm environment. I feel like I'll be walking into a white sterile Progressive commercial and Flo will bounce out speaking about Glitter and Unicorns!
Sorry, visual.
Ive never been, but I have this picture in my head that it will be like an AA meeting.
"Hi, my name is Mike and I... um, used to kill bad guys, and stuff... and I got shot at allot... and this one time, at ARMY camp, I almost got vaporized my a 120mm Katusha rocket." WHOAH!!!
Sorry. If you have ever been to one of these groups don't get pissed, I just don't know. If you are in one of these, please, by all means, help me paint this picture.
OK, bets on. How many appointments in the next two weeks? Extra points if you name a them, and will I be assigned a "group"? and for extra credit, does Mike have enough vacation time to use to go to these meetings with out raising suspicion at work?
A post for another time. Come clean with work about your issues with PTSD and being seen by Mental Health at the VA and asking for the time off to go?
Or
Say nothing, and not make it to enough appointments because the VA schedules them all at different times and you don't have enough vacation or sick time because you just started this job because you lost your other job, by having a your job 'eliminated', which happened, coincidentally, exactly 3 weeks prior to you having a flashback, in a stall, in the bathroom, at said work place? (see: "Hey Buddy, you OK in there? Wars Over." post)
Hmmmm. We shall see.
Stay tuned.
Mike
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6 comments:
Come clean with work about your issues with PTSD and being seen by Mental Health at the VA and asking for the time off to go?
yes, this option. I think the public is becoming more and more aware of the challenges ex-military face in the civilian world... in the world in general. If you're straightforward with your management and you have a plan in place, they would probably rather they know exactly where you're going instead of wondering why you're calling in sick or taking vacation all the time. Especially if you go to them with a plan- present them with a plan to work through lunches, come in early or stay late to make up for your time away. That way, you're not asking for anything extra from them. You'll still do your work and be there the hours required.
Being a pregnant woman is a TOTALLY different health issue, but when it comes to requesting time off and working around mandatory doctor appointments, which are guaranteed to be at the most inconvenient time each day, pregnant women usually have to employ this same strategy. Yes, it's illegal to discriminate against a pregnant woman or to hire/fire her based on her pregnant status... but plenty of employers still get peeved that you have to miss work for a monthly or bimonthly appointment, and they will make your life miserable for it, and so will jealous coworkers if they think you're getting special treatment by having a couple hours to go to those doctor appts, even though they know it's imperative to your health and your baby's and your future productivity on the job. So, I learned- request the time but have a plan for how you're making it up.
wow... I can ramble... and sound redundant. Sorry about that.
Once my husband got an appointment, he was offered a personal counselor one on one. Not group therapy. He is also required to see specialists like a psychologist and medical doctor ( with a name escaping me right now) for follow ups while they "treat" him for his ptsd and tbi.
Whats sad is the more improvment he shows at the medical appointments, the less they will help him manage it, so he has to revisit a lot of his raw feelings and prepare himself to go each time. It pretty much ruins all our days.
As for work, he has a difficult time scheduling around these crazy daytime apps, and I don't think he wants to tell his boss what he has or is dealing with at all. My opinion as a bystander is he should so they can possibly support him getting treatment and understanding he needs regualr long lunches or something. Also so they understand how certain scenarios may me particularly more stressful for him. IDK. But, in the real world, this may cause him to be less favorable as an employee or lose a job- I understand that.
Never been to a VA meeting about PTSD. Mine was diagnosed by my MD who happened to be an LTC reserve medical officer. I was rushed through ACAP so fast, I just got check marks on my med clearence. 60 days after ETS, the symptoms hit me like a brick wall. Night sweats, uncontrollable heart palpatations, anxiety of death, no sleep, confusion, unable to distinguish fantasy from reality and the feeling I am going to die happening every minute. It's been a helluva 10 years for me.
I think JustGlory's advice is spot on. Come clean with them, assure them you aren't a danger to anyone but want to nip this in the bud before it is too out of control and form a plan for how you will make up the time.
Have you thought about joining a local chapter of the VFW? My father was a Veteran of two wars & older brother & sister were in Vietnam. I practically grew up in a VFW. It's a good network of people and they may be able to help you navigate this road. They have been through it to and they can help you as an equal, not some condescending bureaucracy.
Good luck to you and good for you taking the bull by the horns to handle manage this issue early. Oh, and that question about whether you feel you are a danger to yourself or others? That is a simple liability control question. If you were feeling that way and they never asked, the intake person could be on the hook for never identifying it. It is nothing to take personally. They are just covering their asses.
jdb2009 said... 10 years, tough road. How are you today? What were some of the times that helped you through?
Devlin said...
Im still on the fence with this one. Im just not ready to trust that they will not think I am a liability to the company. I have a good chunk of Vacation days, so Ill just try to get the appointments in a block. You do have a good point.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Mike
P.S. Im not a danger... I mean, liability to my current place of employment nor anyone else's! LOL
I know I'm coming in late on this but I see my psychiatrist once a month. She regulates my medications.
I see my psychologist every six weeks for a one on one session but she's trying to get me in weekly for a one on one. I also see her every two weeks for a group session.
My psychiatrist works very closely with my pain management doctor. My psych meds and my pain control meds in combination boost each other to control my fibromyalgia. In 16 years of going to the VA Hospital(s), this is the first time I've ever had two doctors of mine work so closely on my case.
I'm on SSDI and I'm fighting the VA for IU so I don't work. It's a good thing that I don't. Just this month alone I've literally had 12 appointments at the VA. I can't imagine being employed anymore and having a boss understanding enough to give me that much time off to attend to my medical needs. (I'm 80% service connected) Even when I was still capable of working, my civilian bosses (and definitely the last one) always gave me hell for asking for time to attend to VA appointments. I was a salaried employee and ALWAYS worked more than 45 hours a week, too, so I didn't see what the big deal was.
Good luck to you!
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