PTSD and the world turns

Police shoot armed suspect.

...Neighbors said the man who was shot was a 23-year-old military veteran who recently served in the Middle East... They said he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and was worried about being sent back to the Middle East to fight...

OK, don't judge this to hard because I'm not sure about this one yet myself.

So an alleged man with a gun starts trouble and the police show up. No problem. Happens in every major metropolitan area on the planet. Said man has a gun and the police order him to drop it. He does not comply. The end of the story is the same no matter how you add the numbers. The police will shoot you if you do not put your gun down. Pretty simple concept. To the sane, rational, intelligent mind. However. What if you are under the influence? What if you are mentally ill? What if you are in the middle of a PTSD induced flashback? What if you are all three? Recipe for sorrow. I am not criticizing the police in this matter, I don't have all the facts, I was not there and I will not presume to know the state of mind of each officer at that moment when the trigger was pulled. I see many victims here. I know what its like to be at that moment, that split second when the tiny thought actually materializes in your brain, and you realize that, you are going to die. BANG! Someone just died. Its almost as if PTSD transferred itself from one victim to another.

Dam.
I just realized that the former soldier, just passed his fears, anxiety, sorrow and pain onto the police officer that shot him.

Follow me on this for a bit. PTSD is the common thread here. The soldier has suffered traumatic events in the War zone. Soldier develops PTSD. Soldier returns home. Soldier does not get the help that he needs to transition back into society. (Many returning soldiers refuse VA evaluations for fear of reprimands and stigma of being mentally ill) Soldier does not deal with family life or social settings normally. (I know, bare with me on the normal bit) Soldier keeps gun close because that's what he did for the last year while in combat. (I slept with a loaded .45 for months after returning home. another blog post for later)
Soldier may be under the influence with drugs or alcohol. (Typical self medicating scenarios for PTSD. another future blog post) The police are called and confront the distressed male with a gun. Soldier finds himself under extreme stress, and he resorts to his training as he was taught to do when in combat.
Shots fired.

OK, back up. Another angle.
Police officer on routine patrol at 3:30am. Raining slightly but not cold. The area he is patrolling is in a poorer section of town. Track housing and subsidised apartments. High petty crime. Higher than average for drug and alcohol crimes. Rare violent crime area, but not immune. Call goes out over the radio that an armed man with a handgun is in the street yelling and arguing with someone at a residence. Lights go on and immediately step on the gas with the siren blaring, respond to the scene. Training kicks in. Pull up to a shirtless man in the street waving what appears to be a handgun. It is slightly raining, the flashing lights and car headlights make the shadows jump along the garage's and the windows of the apartments nearby. Another officer is yelling at the suspect. Sirens blaring. The suspect is yelling back. Suspect turns and notices the car and yells. Police officer sees man with gun, pulls own weapon and aims at suspect. Attempts direct verbal confrontation. Demands person drop weapon. Everyone is yelling. Sirens blaring, lights flashing, people peering out apartment windows, people gather on street corner, wife yelling at suspect, suspect yelling back, suspect ignores order. Scan for other threats, scan for Innocent's in line of fire, scan for other officers in line of fire, demand that suspect comply, suspect extremely agitated, waving weapon, yelling, points weapon at officer.

STOP.

OK, so is this the point at which PTSD "jumped" from the soldier to the officer who shot him? Did it then "jump" to the wife / girlfriend that just saw her husband / boyfriend die in the street? 

I don't know. What a tragic evening. Who is the victim? Really ask yourself who the victim is. The soldier who was suffering from PTSD? The officer who now suffers from it? He just took a mans life. I know, I know, the police are trained to do that sort of stuff. They have good health insurance, they will get help. Or will they? PTSD doesn't care if you are a soldier, a car accident victim, or a victim of a surgery gone wrong. PTSD. P .... T .... S .... D .... Think about it. POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER. It does not say soldier, in there at all.

I feel terrible that this has happened. We will never truly know all that this soldier suffered from. All I know that there is a little girl that will never know her father, a wife / girlfriend that will suffer from PTSD, and an officer.
That shot a man.
Doing his sworn duty.
Who now suffers from the PTSD that may have caused this whole episode to begin with. The war isn't over my friends. PTSD keeps it going even after the battles "Over there" have ended.

More to follow. I just felt compelled to write tonight as this affected me so strongly. I don't have the answers and I'm not trying to offer any here tonight, and I am surely not passing judgements. I guess that's the mark of bad journalism. Glad I'm not a writer.

Your kind words and IED's of life

I have been receiving some very kind words in emails and in other posts from many supporters of this project of mine. Very humbling. Thank you for sharing your "Roadside lives" with me, and describing your "IED's" of life. We can all learn from each other. These wars will eventually end, but the scares will last a lifetime. Like the Marine wife that emailed me recently.
...we almost survived 3 deployments. Almost... but WE didn't make it.
3 deployments? Wow. How does a family even have a remote chance of making it with 3 deployments? The casualties of these conflicts do not just number the wounded and the dead on the battlefield, but the torn and destroyed relationships that result after we got home. I ran from all of my relationships after I returned. I ran so far and fast that I was sure that my guilt, fear and pain couldn't catch up to me. They were just waiting for me when I got there.
PTSD played a role in the failure of this family and with so many other as well. Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines are not trained to let our wives/husbands and girl/boy friends in to the "Dark Places". No one ever explained to me the PTSD manual. Hell, we hardly ever asked for help when we know things are not right.
It was reported that my Battalion had a 60% divorce rate upon return. How many marriages ended? Boyfriends / girlfriends broke up? How many kids are learning about "custody", "child support", and "Weekends"? I don't have these answers folks. I just don't know.

How many deployments have you survived? How has PTSD affected your family? What are your IED's of life? Thanks for sharing.

Mike